Pharagraph Writing

What do you think of this paragraph?
Friday! Again, after 5 horrible days it is Friday. Me and I think everybody in the whole entire school was waiting for this day, the first day of the weekend and I think is the best because if you think about it, on Friday you go out with friends, Saturday you go out with family to run errands and in the afternoons most of the times you stay at home doing nothing BORING! And on Sunday it is everybody’s favorite day to do homework (at least in the 7th grade) even thought is not always that way; well the point is that Friday is the best day of the week. I have everything planned for tonight, first I am going to the movies with my friends, then we will play in the arcade and to finish with a flourish, my friend Sierra will they us to her house to do a small party of arrival of the weekend (we do one on the last Friday of every month) But, before all the Friday fun begins I must go to school, isn’t that sad? I think they should leave Friday free, I mean why 2 days off school and not 3? You know, I think that’s a great idea and if they asked to students, people would find great ideas just like this one. Returning to the subject, before having fun with my friends I must go to school, take an exam, present a power point presentation of the American Civil War, deal with boredom and meet my total challenge; spend all the History class without being send to the principal’s office, if the teacher sends me, all the Friday plans will be sent away, my mother will punish me and of course, will not let me go out today. How can I do that if the teacher or rather the ogre of Mrs. Murple hates me and sends me to the office every time she sees me? I don’t know but I must find the way or else, no movie, no arcade and no party.



You use an exclamation mark in the first Friday but not on the second, but the second one carries the same liveliness as the first one, so you should use an exclamation mark on the second one as well. It is more proper to write, Yes! Friday! Fridays are my favorite day of the week!

Notice that I used this: Fridays are my favorite day of the week! This is my topic sentence, and you always need a topic sentence because if not a reader like me might not know what it is exactly that you are talking about. I know that you were talking about Fridays, but at first I was really confused what you wanted to say about Fridays because you didn't use this topic sentence that just clarifies everything you are trying to say. If you notice, you first talked about others peoples feelings and then about activities on the weekends but I did not understand how YOU felt about Friday from the get go, and so I had no idea what you were talking about until I finished reading and rereading your paragraph. Believe me I used to HATE using topic sentences back when I was in high school but then you realize that they really are just a part of good writing and all good writers use them.

I also must confess, you really need to learn some basic punctuation rules. You use a lot of commas where you should have used periods. I used to be really confused about punctuation in early in high school (I was a "D" average student), so I know how you must feel about punctuation marks. Go to your library or through netflix get The Standard Deviants: Learn English Punctuation 1. I learned most things I really needed to know in less than an hour. If you can't get this just get any other book about punctuation from the library or just browse rules around the internet.

Also, make sure you learn how to divide big paragraphs into smaller ones. They are like a pie in that you would want to eat one in divided pieces rather than all at once. Writing a big paragraph that is not broken down into pieces is like asking someone to eat a big pie all at once without dividing it into pieces. Most likely, people will squirm at the thought of doing this.

Finally, learn how to develop your paragraphs. It is always easier to start each paragraph with a short and clear topic sentence that you then expand upon this little by little with longer sentences. For example you could use something like this:

Friday! Yes! Today is Friday! Friday is really my favorite day of the week (this is the topic sentence)! During all other weekdays I get to do A LOT OF BORING STUFF like writing essays or taking tests, but on Friday is when the fun begins. On Fridays, I usually get to see my friends. Sometimes we meet at the mall and watch a movie, and other times we just meet in someone's home to start all the fun. Sierra usually invites everyone to her home and we just go crazy. Last weekend, we were going to cook pizza, but since it got burned in the oven we ordered a pizza over the phone. When it got here, we were all dancing 'Baby' and when the delivery boy got here we all began dancing around him as if we were from an Indian tribe. We then went to the movies and watched Dinner for Schmucks. It was a fun movie and we all had a good time.
Fridays are also a good time to begin spending time with my family. On Friday when I stay at home, me and my parents normally stay up until 12:00am watching movies on the TV or playing board games on the living room.
This Friday I can only imagine what is about to go down. My friends might start the party at Sierra's but we might end playing cards in Vegas with my family.
The fun won't last forever though. On Monday I'll have an essay, on Tuesday a test, and so on until the bell rings at 2:30pm on the next Friday.

Here notice how I developed my paragraph from a small simple idea to more detailed ideas.
1. I like Fridays
2. Unlike other weekdays, Friday is when the fun starts.
3. Fun begins because I spend time with friends and family instead of tests and essays.
4. It is fun to spend Friday going to the movies or visiting my friends.
5. Last Friday I watched Dinner for Schmucks and the danced with my friends at Sierra's House.
6. At Sierras we danced to the tune of Baby Baby and had fun with people from the neighborhood.
7. Some Fridays I also enjoy spending time with my family.
8. We watch TV until late at night or begin playing board games.
9. (As conclusion) Friday is fun until Monday again comes and I have to wait again for Friday.
10. (optional) Fridays are so great, every Friday should be considered a holiday.
Source(s):
Notice how each sentence builds and expounds on the one before. With each sentence your original idea becomes more and more clear. You never break to say things like "They should leave Friday free" in the middle of your paragraph because this breaks away from your main objective of explaining how Friday is the greatest day of the week and now goes into the topic of explaining how it should be included as a non-studying day of the week which is another topic. You can do this but only during your conclusion once you have explained how Friday is the best day of the week.

Hope this helps. From a university student with some time on his hands.